Last night I received a message asking me if I would like to co-own a bar. It wasn’t an email scam (although that’s exactly the sort of scam I’d probably fall for) but a legitimate question from a friend bored by life and lockdown and self-coerced into considering a career change.

I have always wanted to own a pub. At least, I think I have. Sometimes I wonder whether I might be confusing this desire with the desire to go to the pub, because I like spending time in pubs. A bar is not quite a pub, but it’s a step in the right direction. I also like spending my time in bars.

This doesn’t seem like the wisest of moments to invest in a new on-trade hospitality venue. But then, I’m no expert. I spent the bulk of my working life writing up other people’s opinions and perspectives about the industries in which they operate. I don’t have a huge amount of time to formulate my own views. Perhaps I should make time. Arrive at an informed view, rather than throwing my savings at an over-impulsive compadre who also likes spending time in pubs. Or perhaps I should go with my gut, even though my gut would almost certainly suffer from spending more time in close proximity to beer.

The truth is, I have no idea whether co-owning a bar would be a good move or a disaster. However, one of the consequences of three months spent largely cooped up at home with little to do other than work, decorate or watch Netflix, is an unquenchable craving to experience the world again. To get out there and do something, rather than feeling like a passive spectator locked up in my converted loft endlessly pressing refresh on the 24/7 COVID feed.

A few years ago I came up with a brilliant and appropriately idiosyncratic bar name. Not the Mariner’s Revenge; something even better. I forgot the name almost immediately, and yet, somehow its presence still lingers on in my mind – as though, with the right external trigger, it might suddenly reappear in all of its demented glory.

I think this may be the determining factor in my decision. If I remember the name, I take the plunge. Like the toss of a coin, but infinitely more idiotic.

Still, you only live once…

Photo credit: Michael B. Stuart