I made a new client friend at work today. Client friends are the hardest friends to make. They’re wary of PRs and comms people because we’re always trying to sell them things. And because we have a reputation for being phoney, two-faced, and deceptive. And because sometimes they have to fire us.

Most client friends are not real friends, of course. You only learn which camp they’ll fall into once they stop being your client. Hearing from them again is a good start. Having a conversation about something other than your former professional relationship is still more encouraging. Meeting regularly for drinks several years after you’ve ceased working together and finding that you still enjoy one another’s company – then you’re officially friends. This is hallowed ground. Unless I’m much mistaken, I can count just three people who fit into this category, and that’s based on a 20 year career.

What’s more common is that your client at one company later becomes your client at another. It makes sense – you both like one another, but you know you’re not friends, so what better way to stay involved in one another’s lives than by working together again.

This arrangement is of course subject to other criteria – for example, competence. A competent client isn’t going to hire someone who is utterly useless multiple times, no matter how much they like them. Budgets could also be an issue – can the client afford their first-choice friend’s fees?

Some will claim that true friendships cannot exist where money is changing hands. And this may well be true, although it’s rather a sad reality if so, given how much of our lives we spend at work. Not only does it rule out client friendships, but friendships with our employers or subordinates, our partners and contractors too. Money is always involved, unless you work for yourself, employ no one, and have no paying clients or customers, in which case it sounds suspiciously as though you may not in fact be working.

While these relationships are contingent on capital, as long as the capital flows there is no reason why the relationship should not continue in perpetuity. This is in contrast to so-called true friendships, which need frequently dwindle over time, regardless of our intentions or the strength of our affection. Life gets in the way and we barely notice, perhaps because there’s no impact on our bank balance.

Hence my bold conclusion is that we should start paying a monthly retainer to any friends we genuinely wish to remain in our lives, and trust that the money will be recouped when those who value us start to engage our friendship services for themselves. I call it karma capital, and before you give voice to your incredulity, yes, I recognise that it is potentially the worst financial innovation since the collateralised debt obligation.

So let this be a reminder to you – hold onto your friends, particularly the ones you’re not paying for.

Photo by Krista Mangulsone on Unsplash